viernes, 1 de julio de 2011


Kiss me goodnight. Sing me to sleep. Stay with me till you see I'm dreaming. Whisper something sweet in my ear. Hug me, caress me, asphyxiate me. Pull me gently under my pillow. Cover my head with it, feel my breathing, feel it fade. Hear me, longing for some air. But don't listen, ignore me. Don't stop until I'm dead. Make it look like an accident, you know you're innocent. Tell them I ordered you not to stop. Touch my body, feel the coldness filling every cell of yours. You want something more, I can tell that. Lay me on the bed. Undress me, hit me, slap me, stab me, see the blood running. Don't feel sorry for me, I'm already dead. I can't feel anything, I can't feel my body being harshly mutilated. Open me up, take my heart and rip it to pieces. Eat it then, if you want to. Feel the blood flowing, soaking your hands, flooding the bedroom floor. That's what you wanted, huh? Happy now? I guess so. Now you have enough blood to fill your pool, or lake, or whatever you once told me you were going to do. Now you got what you wanted. And you got it for free. Will you miss me? I'd really like to know. I won't miss you, you know, because I can't feel anything, as I lie cold and motionless on the bed, while my blood is flowing, coming out of my veins. No, you're not satisfied yet. Rip me to pieces, take my liver, my stomach, my brain, do whatever you want to do with them. Don't feel any remorse, it's okay, I know it is. I knew one day you would have to do it, even though some years from now you'll be wondering why you killed me. Remember when you said you would never forget me? You lied, of course you did. Lies were all you told me, lies and more lies, you never spoke an honest word, you never meant what you said. Hush now, don't cry. Everything's over, there's nothing you can do. You can't take back what you've done. It's too late to turn back time, you can't bring me back to life.

Burn all my clothes, smash my photographs, tear all my letters, erase all memory. As if I never existed, as if I was never there. You will never change, I guess. You will always be the sadistic, bloodthirsty man who murdered me. Cover your face with my blood, feel ashamed of yourself, now make me yours, taste me, drink me, do what you always did to me. This time I won't put up a fight. This time I'll let you do as you want. This time I'll let you bite me, hit me, shout at me, pull my hair, kill me again. It won't hurt, it really won't. I want you to feel it, to feel the pleasure, to scream, shout, sweat. Let me give you everything I couldn't give you when I was alive. Kiss me, lick me, nibble my ear. I am just a toy now, a simple puppet. You can't hurt me, I can't scream, no one will ever find about this.

You've finished? Enjoyed yourself, didn't you? Yes, that's it. Now burn me, turn me into ashes. Throw me to the sea, where I shall lie forever, until the current takes me to a faraway land. But by then, you'll have forgotten about me. You won't remember my smell, my taste, my voice, my screams when you hurt me, when you gave me so much pain. Sometimes I thought I would die in your bed. So many times you could have killed me and you didn't, why did you make me endure such pain? Hasn't it been much easier to make me yours now? See, you should have killed me when you had the chance. I would have rest in peace, and your soul wouldn't be as tarnished and rotten as it is now. But you waited till I asked you to kill me. I guess you weren't that brave after all. I guess I wasn't either. Do not pity me now, you can do nothing. You must not feel sympathy. Cause no one feels sympathy for the dead.

Get rid of my body, and I swear you'll never see my face again. I won't return as a - do you actually believe in ghosts? I thought you more mature than that. Turns out I was the mature one, despite my youth. You'll never let the police know, let alone my parents. Make them believe I disappeared and might return someday. The press must be kept in the dark. Because they don't know a word, they don't know what happened tonight, how a forty-year-old man killed his teenage lover. But you see, I was never your lover. I never loved you, nor did you love me. You wanted me, you desired me, you were just a lunatic, necrophilic pederast, a damned rapist. Lust was all you could feel in your stone cold heart.

Everything is over now. My insides are ripped out. My body's but a pile of ashes. I no longer exist in this world. You will never see me again. And I will finally rest in peace, as I will have helped you to fulfil your lifetime dream. Keep my blood, if you must. Rub it all over your body, to become the bloody demon I always knew you were. Say no more, think no more, go to sleep. This will always be our dirty little secret.

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